Posted in The MIGHTY Rosie, Thinking Thoughts on a Thursday

Thinking Things on a Thursday 10: A MIGHTY 11 Years

13:08 13 July 2006

It began as just a day like any other. It changed every day since. It was the day that changed the course my life. Because it was the day I met the love of that life.

11 years ago today, I met the MIGHTY Rosie.

The details of that day are beside the point but when I look back on the last 11 years, the ups have outweighed the bad by a HUGE margin. She taught me to value myself, to love with all my heart and above all she loves me, as I am, flawed and ridiculous. I know no one with a bigger heart and owe no one more for teaching me how to use mine.

I don’t tell her enough how lucky I am to have her and I don’t know I can her enough. She is my north star, she guides me home always. I knew the words home and love before her, but she taught me what they mean. She still does.

To my Rosie. You had my heart then and you have it still. The brightest Star in my sky.

 

Posted in The MIGHTY Rosie

That feeling you get, when you are Home.

It’s be ten years, since I met my wife (the MIGHTY Rosie) and it’s been a hell of a decade.

She picked me up out of the misery that was my life and showed me how it could be. There’s been problems, there have been challenges and it’s not always been a smooth happy ride, some of it has been hard, but none of that has been because of her. With her it was easy, she was easy to talk to, easy to trust, easy to be around and above all, easy to love. It’s been so long, but somehow it hasn’t. Seeing her today whilst at work, made my day as it ever has, she is still the finest person I know, my best friend, my hero, my soul mate and a woman I convinced to marry me. We compliment each other, we challenge each other and we make one another laugh and that’s as true as it’s ever been. I don’t want to think about who I’d be if we hadn’t met, but I don’t think I’d like that guy, she has made me a better man.

If you have a significant other in your life, do me and you a favour, tell them what they mean to you, never let your heart be a secret from them. You never know the future, but if you’re smart, you know what you have. What I have is a woman who took a geeky, emotionally repressed, shy and awkward loner and helped him become a husband and father, trying to be better. Still geeky like, but hey if it ain’t broke.

I love her more each day, I love her more, because of each day. I am grateful for her love and her friendship and will do all I can, to be worthy of both.

She is my northern star, when I see her, I know where home is, because wherever she is, that’s home.

Now some you-tubey things, with my wife in mind, if for no other reason that I should reward her actually reading this (she’s wonderfully supportive of my blog and often shares or passes it on)

 

For that, go to 2:20

We all have those who make our lives worth more, if we don’t it’s what we look for.

Every moment with my Rosie is a moment worth seizing.

Ta ta for now internet people.

 

Posted in Miscellaneous, The MIGHTY Rosie

Sun, sand, sea and soreness

Hello again Internet people. Back to reality after the best holiday of my life to date and I am nicely chilled out.

After a few of the worst months in recent memory, we were stressed and in need of a good holiday, damn we got it. We flew to Heraklion airport in Crete and were drove across the island to Rethymno were we were at a 5star all inclusive hotel. I say we being my lovely boy, my wife (The Mighty Rosie) 14 guests and my sister in law (the unstoppable Heva) with her fiancée, we were there for their wedding. 19 Of us checked in, another 5 came in a week later. There were two proposals, some drama on different nights, some fantastic  food, some ok drinks and lots and lots of sunshine.

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The Mighty Rosie was maid of honour at Heva’s wedding, which went really well. The hotel staff were lovely (one of the ladies in the restaurant called Artemi actually kept talking to my son, there was a lovely playfulness between them) and other staff faced the wrath of several of the family and yet were fantastically helpful.

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There was a knob-head of a musician that tried to prevent children dancing ON A DANCEFLOOR! There were complaints, we got the manager involved and then got a 19 person gourmet meal out of it. Then at the wedding, this same knob-jockey did it again, let me repeat this part of the show.. AT THE WEDDING! Needless to say, children danced anyway. On the last night there, my son (one of those told not to dance) danced across the square where he was performing and before we left, stood in front of him and did the monkey dance, eyeballing him the whole time. (Love that boy)

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For my wife’s birthday, we went on a tour of pirate caves on a pirate ship and that was pretty awesome and before we left I had a go at paragliding. Yup, went flying too. Three minutes of terror (What am I doing? What am I doing?) and the rest of it was THIS IS AWESOME…..THIS IS AWESOME. I’m the furthest from a thrill seeker, but would recommend that to anyone.

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Yup, that was an awesome couple of weeks, sun sea, sand and sunburn (even blistered early on) surrounded by relative strangers and relatives and spent two weeks with my favourite people, no work, no family and no stress. Even for someone and non-social as I, it was nice being around so many people who were having fun.

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Glad to be back, but I enjoyed this so much. Two weeks of feeling good, of doing right by myself and my loved ones. I don’t want it to end, so I won’t.

Time to be happy again.

Have missed you internet people and happy times are here again.

Not much of point to this post, but to be honest have missed blogging and wanted to get right back on the horse.

Ttfn for now

 

 

 

Posted in Feelings on a Friday, Mental Health Struggles, The MIGHTY Rosie

Feelings on a Friday 7: Anger

images (1)

This week started off well enough, but yesterday s**t hit the fan in a BIG way.

 

It doesn’t all relate to me, so will keep the details to myself, but this relates to my mental health and indirectly to my son.

I’m angry.

Furious about the whole thing, but I am not alone.

Every time I start to pick myself back up, s**t like this happens.

This time is different, this time we jumped on this as a family, we talked about it, tried to find solutions, talked to the relevant people and came up with an action plan. My wife (the Mighty Rosie) said as we left the house this morning. “This fight isn’t over.”

“It’s not a fight” I replied,  fight means that the other side has a chance of winning.

I am angry, but for the first time in a while, fire is the fuel of the car, not the driver.

Whatever I have to do to take care of my family, I will do and woe betide anyone who gets in the way of that.

A more aggressive post that usual, but am angry and want that anger out of me.

But because anger is not the biggest part of me, here’s something to giggle at.

 

Posted in Feelings on a Friday, Mental Health Struggles, The MIGHTY Rosie

Feelings on a Friday 6: Brutal

I had my assessment with the NHS mental health team on Wednesday, where the full extent of my problems were gone through and examined. Imagine having every flaw pointed out as you realise how far you are away from the person you once were. Gut punch after gut punch as my illness was spelled out. I can’t say how hard it was, but I’ve had better days.

Took the next day and a half off work and sorted things out, organised DVDs, sorted and boxed away comics. Which left me with the realisation that the last four months of comics have been relatively un-enjoyable. So maybe with the exception of UK reprints and the DC hardback collections, knock regular comics on the head for the foreseeable future. I also went to the gym last night and was punished accordingly.

When I got back, me and the Mighty Rosie talked, a bit more in depth than we have in a while, that was good and I think we are a bit closer as a result.

Other stuff has gone on and this year is not really going as well as I like, but I am shown something because of this, I have the unconditional love of my son and the love and support of the best woman I could imagine knowing, let alone being with. The depths of her love continue to astound me.

I learned that you never reach rock bottom, not once at least, but bottom out several times and this last week has been one of those. Time to get back up, get my s**t together and fight, not for my family, not for my wife, but for me. I never fight for me, I need to.

We all have demons, those monsters in our heads, screaming and tearing, destroying and drowning us, but we don’t have to fight them alone. I have her at my side fighting with me, the Amazing Rosie, not a person to be f**ked with. I won’t win every battle, but with her, I finally believe I can win the war.

 

If you have someone in your life, who always has your back, always there for you. Cherish them, love them and if there’s anything more than friendship there, marry the s**t out of them. Smartest decision of my life was “I do.”

 

Well this got a bit of a downer, so here’s a picture of our son, dressed as the Flash

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Posted in Miscellaneous, The MIGHTY Rosie

Mother’s Day

I want to wish every mum a happy Mother’s day.

Being a mum is a hard job, so I want to say you all deserve more praise.

 

My wife, the Awesome Rosie, deserves more than one day for how hard she works and how much she loves.

 

If you know a mum doing her best, working hard for her kids or is just an amazing mum, show her some love. It’s people like that, we need more of in this world.

 

Posted in Miscellaneous, The MIGHTY Rosie

Unable to sleep

Northern-Star

Cannot sleep, but this is nothing new, am sure I’ll be tired enough sooner rather than later.

One thing that occured to me as I lay in bed, my wife was cuddled into me, my arm around her, her head nestled on my chest, it was I who felt safe. I am loved and cared for and every day I am grateful for this, my friend, my lover, my soul mate. I tell her I love her often, but it sounds like habit.

I write this, because I love you lacks the impact it once had and I need to find better ways to tell her how much she means to me and has done for me.

 

In the darkest day, she is the light and when I am lost, she is the northern star which guides me home.

My Wife