Posted in Mental Health Struggles, Miscellaneous

New address, new habits and a new future.

Hello there internet people.

After a few shaky months, some things have started to happen and weirdly these are good things. I know, I was surprised too and it’s taken some getting used to.

Shortly after my breakdown, myself SuperSam and the MIGHTY Rosie moved into a house, renting, but the landlord was on a family friend and the terms were really good. Three years ago, before covid and a hundred other things, he sadly passed away. There are details, but this is not my tale to tell, so I won’t. His properties went to his next of kin and there was a lot of legal bits and bobs that needed doing, so we have spent most of the time since in limbo. Things got worse when the house went on the market and we had to deal with people viewing the house, several times over several months. But then we had hope, another landlord we knew was trying to offload a property.

There was so much more back and forth and issues regarding buying the house, the mortgage and so on and so forth and to be honest I could write a book on this part of it alone, but after 3 years of limbo, effecting every element of my life in negative ways. Now the worry and uncertainty was replaced with the deadline of moving. Fortunately we didn’t have a dog full of anxiety and a child in his first year of secondary school to deal with as well…..oh yeah, we did. But still, for the first three weeks of October we moved everything we could, books, bookcases, dvds, blu-rays and my longboxes as well as most of our clothes, boardgames and other bric a brac. Still on Friday, the big stuff went too, white goods, beds and the like, leaving the living room with only half a now busted couch and the TV and on Friday night we moved.

We fit the TV in the back of the car and then added a scared dog (can you see where this is going yet?) and when I tried to set all the entertainment up, the TV lit up only enough to show the cracks. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we could immediately see 3 or 4 ways it could be avoided. We had the TV replaced the next day and also a couch, so alls well and such.

So here I am in a new place, but this one is mine. I have trees, my own space and a renewed sense of optimism. For the first time in a few years, I feel I can move forward. I’m not trying to put back together the pieces of my life and restore anything, it’s more about building something new and using pieces of the past to get it. There’s so much to do, so many things to put right and yet for the first time in a long time I feel like I can do it.

I am now an hour from home by foot, meaning I can’t walk home during lunch, so I am able to do other stuff at lunch, you may get more of my meandering rubbish on here, you never know. But I am getting more exercise and am enjoying the de-stressing walk and podcast/audiobook time that I am getting without losing time with my family. The family who are all happier where we are.

I drifted too far from shore, before I realised and I became lost. Pieces of me over time fell away till I wasn’t someone I recognised, nor did anyone else. But now, I feel like I have constructed a sail. I don’t know where I am going yet, or who I will be when I get there, but it’s definitely better than where I am right now.

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Author:

Liverpool based family man and unrepentant geek, trying to understand what's going on in my own head, which is not always being a good place to be. Remember always, we live in a world of wonders.

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