Posted in Mental Health Struggles

I am literally smaller

This last year, have had to do some work on me. Over the last few years I have sort of lost myself. When my breakdown happened nearly ten years ago now, I lost myself all at once and had to work very hard to get back. It took medication, therapy, support and time to do that and get myself back to a similar place than I had been before. But the thing is, that wasn’t entirely the goal. In truth, I never got back to where I was, I had aged, changed and taken on new responsibilities and outlooks and looking back, it feels like I got to some place after a lot of work, but then needed to do some more work to get to a better place and kind of didn’t, I just carried on.

This has cost me, but that’s neither here, nor there. The point is, I am not where I want to be and this has left me very unhappy. So one of the things I have neglected is my health. So I had replaced my glasses (after a dog-related mishap) and am now wearing old man glasses (varifocals) and as per this post I have found a new physical activity to keep me active and able to set and achieve goals. The one thing I have yet to work on is food. I am overweight and one of the things I have learned about myself is that I have unhealthy habits and issues in regard to food. I know, a shock. Who would have thought a middle-aged man with self esteem issues and a sedimentary lifestyle would also have weight issues, I mean I was surprised. I am both a stress/comfort eater and also have portion control issues. So a lot of times I struggle with diets, I even tried slimming world a couple of times. Whilst I had a great rep at slimming world, with it’s focus of balance and not on portion, I was able to eat more even when doing well and so when I fell out of good habits (and we always do) I was used to eating more and as a result, I gained more weight than I had lost.

So nothing was working, not that I was trying all that much. As always when a good idea is needed, the MIGHTY Rosie stepped in and suggested a thing she was doing. It was one of those meal replacement things. Now we’ve all seen the adverts for slimf@$t and all that, but this isn’t quite the same and it did offer a solution to my biggest problems, snacking and portion control. With only a smoothie for breakfast and lunch, it was only tea that offered an issue and I could plan one healthy meal a day. But there’s also a mid-morning and a mid-afternoon snack which are very calorie controlled and mostly down to a list of prefered options. There is also a person to talk to and a group that you meet with, but it’s very drop in and out, stay for 5 minutes or half and hour, it’s up to you. With their support/products and as always the support of the MIGHTY Rosie I have been on this program for a bit over 3 weeks, dropping in every 2/3 days to be weighed and pick stuff up. Yes, it’s a bit of a racket in that you only get the products from your supplier and yes it isn’t cheap, but based on my existing costs per day in food, it actually ends up saving a little bit of money.

But here’s the thing, it works.

The structure of it helps with my obsessive side, I am either eating or drinking every few hours and I am enjoying food in a manner I have not in years. It’s not comfort, it’s food. But numbers are proof and in that, I have lost in overall size 21cm (or 8 1/4 inches in old money) and 9cm of that off my belly. I am also 9kg (19.84lb in old money) lighter as of this morning. I have a more positive outlook and am feeling good. I recognise it’s a small thing, but this feels like a small thing that has made a positive impact on my life and we could all do with a bit of that.

Ttfn Internet People, will have something to actually say soon



Liverpool based family man and unrepentant geek, trying to understand what's going on in my own head, which is not always being a good place to be. Remember always, we live in a world of wonders.

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