Posted in Feelings on a Friday, Mental Health Struggles

Feelings on a Friday 36: Weary, but have the time for a quick post

It’s a long day.

How long a day? Well am struggling to maintain any kind of positivity. It’s the type of day that I consider getting to start my lunch before 1:45 a win.

Yup, that long a day. It’s the last day of the month, I can see the light at the end of it, but somehow the tunnel seems to be getting longer somehow. I feel weary. That’s the best way to describe it. Not depressed, but just bogged down a bit by it all.

So lets try to find my five positives, because it’s the sort of day that will make them a struggle to find, but when you need them the most.

1: It is Friday. The weekend is here, well almost. There’s relaxation coming.

2: My son is happy. He’s wearing his own clothes, since he donated a bottle of wine. (I know right? Piss up at the primary school tonight!)

3: The MIGHTY Rosie called me at lunch, ill timed perhaps, since I’ve been having a bad morning, but I know that someone whom I love, was thinking about me. That has a power to it.

4: Am halfway through the first month of reduced tablet use. No dramatic change to how I feel, meaning that I am on the right path. I feel positive about this decision.

5: Had two gym sessions this week. Feeling stronger for it and was able to walk from the gym to therapy, so that’s a good 40 mins more exercise than I was expecting to have on the same day.

It’s easier to list what’s going wrong, but it’s the stuff that’s going right that you can remember.

Focus on the positives and remember this, everything that has opposed you so far, has done so, but you are still here. Every single positive step forward is a victory, not against anything, but FOR YOU.

We are all stronger than we believe we are.

Posted in From the Ashes of Another Blog

And I think this is the last one 90’s

Last one, I swear

90’s Characters: Ben Reilly

 

There are many reviled comics, comic events, costumes and characters from the 1990’s that in my mind get an unreasonable about of fan flak for what is essentially buyer’s remorse. What was popular and successful then, is retroactively bad, based on looking back at it, a sort of reverse nostalgia. One victim of this was the clone saga. The Clone Saga ran from Web of Spider-Man #117 to Spider-Man #75 covering a number of years and so many ongoing plots. This sold well and has a special place in my heart. The main reason for this, is that it gave us a new hero, Ben Reilly.

First appearing in Amazing Spider-Man #149 back in 1975, this clone of Spider-Man was part of a plot by longtime Spidey villain, the Jackal. The Jackal blamed Spider-Man for the death of Gwen Stacy and organised this long distance revenge. At the end of the issue, the clone was dead as was the Jackal and to be honest for about 20 years no one thought anything about it. Then came the 90’s and it seemed like the spider-titles had lost some of their mojo and a new idea was needed to give the at this point 4 comics per month a shot in the arm. So in Spectacular Spider-Man #216 a mystery man checking up on a hospitalised Aunt May by Spider-Man was revealed to be another Spider-Man.

This stranger was revealed to be the clone thought dead all that time ago (ret-conned to 5 years) who had left New York and changed his name to Ben Reilly (After his beloved uncle and his aunt’s maiden name) and had wandered the US, only to return when he learned of May’s illness. After an adventure, when he realised that he still had a heroic mentality, he stuck around and became a second Spider-themed hero. In need of a costume, he got some spandex and for a logo, picked up a blue spider hoody, tore off the sleeves and was named by the local papers as the Scarlet Spider. Now I actually like the thrown together look of this costume and feel it’s ‘hated’ status is entirely unfair. But it seems I am in the minority there.

He did alright at it and stuck around. He added new tricks such as impact webbing and stingers and was a major part of the Clone Saga, even to the point where he was revealed to be the original and the Spider-Man hanging around the Marvel Universe since Amazing Spider-Man #150 was actually the clone. Peter starting having power problems and quit the job and decided to move away to Portland with his wife. Ben took the mantle of Spider-Man and became the new Spidey, with a new costume.

The reason I enjoyed Ben so much as a character was that he was something of a blank slate, with all the positives of being Spider-Man, but with less continuity and less obvious reactions and choices. He could do what Peter did, but then again, he might not. It was a mix of road not taken and alternate history while not actually affecting the title character. His tenure as Spider-Man was as good as anything in that era was and he made an indelible impression on me. Even one of my favourite Superman artists Dan Jurgens, did a brief run on the new title Sensational Spider-Man.

Time wore on and the return of the original Spider-Man was mandated and in an almost throw-away move, Ben was killed and revealed to be the clone after all. Spider-Man was back and everyone tried to forget that Ben Reilly even existed, his time on the comics so connected him to the Clone Saga that the more bloated sides of that series rubbed on on him, so he was thrown out with all of that stuff. But to me, I lost a favourite character. Now after a recent clone-related story, we have the start of a new Scarlet Spider series with Ben Reilly in the lead. I’m optimistic, but wanted to write this, before Marvel’s poor recent showing of handling my favourite characters makes me cynical again.

Comments, insults and incoherent screams are welcome.

Posted in From the Ashes of Another Blog

Yet More 90’s

90’s Characters: Kyle Rayner

When I started really getting into comics in the 90’s I was mostly a Marvel fan, DC was less accessible to me, the characters were older and while I had a lot of fondness for the Hal Jordan Green Lantern, none of them spoke to me with the same intensity as say the X-Men did. But one day, in the local comic shop, I found a jumping on point.

Green Lantern #51 was the in costume debut of Kyle Rayner, he had previously appeared in Green Lantern #48 as well as the last two pages of #50 and after the fall of the Green Lantern Corps, he was the wielder of the only functioning Green Lantern ring in the universe. He was a struggling graphic artist with little responsibility and less of a idea of who he was. This wasn’t a honest and fearless test pilot who coasted through life, this was someone who was in the right place and the right time and struggled with what to do with all this power and no guidance.

This was a guy who didn’t get the “Hal Jordan of Earth, you have the power to overcome great fear…” welcome. Kyle got the “You will have to do.” But because of that, he became something greater, he became relatable. He had trouble with his job, he had doubts and uncertainties and more than a little inferiority regarding other heroes. This was a guy who was far from fearless, but had a gung-ho sense of adventure.

The was a hero learning on the job and since he was new to being a lantern and I was new to a more modern DC, he became ‘my’ Green Lantern. I followed him from his early appearances and the start of the ‘fridging’ phenomena to his joining the New Titans and his graduation to the JLA. This was a hero who was able to change, to grow and that appealed to me.

Gone was the silver age heroes with their perfect judgement and stock personalities, this was a guy in over his head and happy to admit that. He became friends with Flash and Green Arrow and fell in love, lost that love, fell in love again, lost her too, fell in love a 3rd time and that ended as well.

Also, he was an artist, which made the constructs he made with the ring interesting and imaginative. No green boxing gloves here, this was high concept art and manga inspired awesomeness. He carried the torch of the Green Lantern Corps and when he could, he re-lit the flame.

Whilst he survived the 90’s, that was where his legend began and he’s since become one of several Green Lanterns, which is one of several corps. Whilst like many I grew up with Hal Jordan, my fondest memories of Green Lantern, is when it was a struggling artist called Kyle, who was stumbling out drunk at the right time to be put on the path to be one of DC’s greatest heroes and one of my personal favourites.

Comments are welcome, who was ‘your’ Green Lantern?