Posted in Miscellaneous

Administrative S**t

Standing Guard

In the interests of saving space on here, am going to be removing any non-Guardians of the Galaxy posts from Standing Guard. What I’ve been doing recently is sharing stuff from my other blogs to here, rather than add new content, which doubles the space I am using.

If you are following this blog for new content, the two blogs I am using here are Munky on Merseyside ( http://misfitmunky.wordress.com,) for personal stuff and general geekiness and ( https://marvelmunky76.wordpress.com ) for My Marvel Life related stuff.

There will be new content here from time to time, but if you’re following this blog, please follow the others for the stuff I have been posting here in the past year.

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Posted in Feelings on a Friday

Feelings on a Friday 30: No one is giving points for neatness

Hello internet people, this is going to get a bit personal.

Not been using this blog too much the last couple of weeks, haven’t really known what to say, so it’s felt that it’s better to say nothing. WRONG! Not talking only causes more problems.

I keep too much inside, I realise that. This past week has been something of a roller coaster. There was some family friction of Wednesday night (22nd) and I spiralled quite sharply. I am nostalgic for a lot of things, but I’ll be honest, the early days of my breakdown are not amongst them. I hit the gym and talked with my trainer and some perspective came. The weekend was also fraught, but after a long and emotional conversation with the MIGHTY Rosie, it came out that I have something holding back my recovery. Medication. It was the first part of my recovery, it came before everything else that I know have and I’m used to taking it, it’s not a thing that crosses my mind too often. But after being on the wrong pills for 3 years and being on pills I’m not 100% sure I need since, it’s become a question of what good they are doing for me, against what side effects they are causing. Is the lack of panic and obsessive thoughts worth the general numbness? (*salutes* General Numbness!) and since the tablets I am on can’t actually alter my thoughts, what are they doing? So really it’s about being so scared of the obsessive thoughts and fears of death and the like, that I have avoided even considering stopping taking the pills.

So you see the dilemma, being off the tablets is the gold ring for where I am in life, but I am so scared of what will happen without them, I haven’t put thought into doing that. So what I did was talk to the MIGHTY Rosie, talk to my therapist and think about it myself and I am going to work on my obsessive tendencies and unhelpful thoughts in therapy for a couple of weeks and then go to the doctors and tell them, not ask them, tell them that I want to reduce my tablets with the goal of cutting them out all together. I don’t mind telling you internet people, I am afraid. I suffer depression and anxiety, scared is not hard to get to. But then again, the tablets and the thoughts being there, they are an obstacle to overcome, an opponent to be beaten. This is no longer a storm to endure, but a battle to fight. I like that a lot better. I have people in my corner and I am now determined to move this forward.

This is a scary process, a long process, but I am confident that it’s one I can get through. My self hatred is strong, my overthinking is strong, but my stubborness, my spite? They are Mighty!

In other news….. I have finally killed my twitter account. While I have promoted this blog on it, I’m getting nothing out of it, so there’s no reason to keep something trivial that fails to bring me any happy. I have also stripped down one of my alternate blogs https://liverpoolmunky76.wordpress.com so that I am no longer sharing these posts there. Since I have the need to write pointless stuff, I have realised that most of my favourite comics/stories/characters etc seem to have their genesis in the 1990’s, I have started another blog http://90scomicsforever.blogspot.co.uk/ where I can talk about them, rather than here.

I don’t have too much else to say, but I will be saying more stuff, putting words to paper have helped me so much this last few years, I need to keep doing it, feeling it or otherwise, so expect more random and incoherent mess soon.

 

As always thanks to the MIGHTY Rosie, who keeps me on the path and anyone who reads this.

 

Posted in Mental Health Struggles

You can’t always see it.

As some of you know, I have been charting my weight loss progress. As part of an overall wellness programme I also am doing a personal gym session once a week. Part of this is a monthly assessment, during one last year I had photos taken and three weeks ago I did it again to see the progress I had made. I didn’t like having them taken, for many reasons, but after seeing both together​, I can see the change in me the last three months.
Advisory: These pictures are not for the faint of heart.

May not be an oil painting now, but I was amazed by the dramatic change.

Imagine the difference in the next three months.

Posted in Slimming World Saturday

Slimming World Saturday 10 – Round 2

Hello again internet people, weigh in time again.


Another 2lb loss. That’s 2 stone 10 1/2 pounds or 38.5 lbs. Only 3.5 from my secondary target of 3 stone or 42lb.

The other part of this was that I have signed up for another 12 weeks. Considering the success I have had in the last 12 weeks, I am optimistic.

Thanks again for all the support and positivity from both the internet people, Slimming World and the MIGHTY Rosie amongst others.

Been a hell of a ride the last 12 weeks, the bell has rung and am coming out swinging for round 2

Posted in Comics n Stuff

What I’ve Enjoyed Wednesday

I went to a comic mart on Sunday, picked up some Power Pack issues, some of the Slott/Allred Silver Surfer and some toys for the boy, also picked up a couple of little gems.

Askani’Son 1-4

This was a sequel to the 1994 Adventures of Cyclops & Phoenix, written and drawn by Scott Lobdell and Gene Ha and fills in some of the blanks in the early life of Nathan Christopher Charles Summers Dayspring Askani’Son (yeah, he shortened it down to Cable) and charts his progress as he begins his rebellion. The writing is competent, we get introductions to characters and story points that became important to Cable’s backstory. He we get the Clan Chosen, Aliyah JenSkott, Stryfe, Zero, the Professor and the New Canaanites. The true selling point here is the art. Gene Ha just gloriously depicts a future 2000 years hence with a vivid and detailed art style. A nice tail end to the Cyclops & Phoenix story and a hole in my collection that I glad I filled.

I also picked up the last issue I was missing of the following:-

New Warriors (2014) 1-12

Written by the under-rated Christopher Yost with a varied art team, this was a fun little series with an interesting double-hook concept, there’s the tarnished name of the New Warriors and it acting as a second chance to a lot of characters and it also highlights the variety of non-baseline humans in the Marvel Universe. The team is a fantastic list of differing super-types.

The members are:-

Vance ‘Justice’ Astrovik (Mutant)

Robbie ‘Speedball’ Baldwin (Industrial/Science accident)

Sam ‘Nova’ Alexander (Cosmically powered Space-Cop)

There’s also a ton of new guys:-

Sun Girl (Human with advanced tech)

Hummingbird (Demigod)

Watersnake (Atlantean)

Haechi (Inhuman)

Scarlet Spider (Genetically altered Clone)

Jake Waffles & Mr Whisker (Animals turned into New-Men)

There’s even magic based characters in the early stories. This team is thrown together when the High Evolutionary is trying to kill any humanoids that are not baseline human in the name of some nameless master. What we get is several stories that lead to an overall 12 part story and I found this a lot of fun. There’s pathos and drama, there’s also nonsense and silliness and it was more than anything else FUN. I liked this series, I hope Marvel doesn’t leave these characters in the dust for another ten years again.

 

That same day I went to see the last Hugh Jackman as Wolverine film, Logan.

Directed by James Mangold, this see’s Hugh Jackman and Sir Patrick Stewart reprising their roles as James ‘Wolverine’ Howlett/Logan and Charles ‘Professor X’ Xavier. This is a story set 12 years in the future with a Charles that is slowly losing his mind and a Logan that is nearing 200 and his healing factor is failing. The two of them get caught up with a child who needs taking to safety and an enemy that wants that child and will kill everyone in their way. I’m not saying more, because I don’t want to spoil it, but I will say this.

It’s good. Rather than be an embarassed super hero film, this is a western in all but name. Logan is a retired fighter, tired of the pain and death that have followed him for over 150 years. He’s tired and wants nothing to do with the world anymore, but he’s needed and he has to once more shed blood for a good cause. How is that not a western, it parallels the movie Shane in some respects and Mangold adds those references in. The violence is neither comic book, nor glamourised and it’s brutal and at times shocking. Jackman also acts his heart out, playing a fading warrior who has very rarely seen the better side of life. There are tender moments, heartfelt moments and at times funny ones. Jackman always got short shrift with the role of Wolverine, but here, he gives it his all. I don’t know what the future of Fox’s X-Man franchise is, but here we get an ending for this era of movies and it’s a very fitting one. This isn’t an X-Men story, this isn’t Old Man Logan, this IS an entertaining movie that was worth the price of admission (by that I mean the horrific X-Men Origins: Wolverine)

Iron Fist

This has been maligned and slated as being the worst of the Marvel Netflix-verse shows, it has the least charismatic lead character and a story that’s full of cultural misappropriation and cliches. These things are true, I found the portrayal of Daniel Rand as some sort of emo-angsty teen an odd and unfortunate choice and the series had several pacing issues and you know what? I still liked it. Saying it’s the worst of these shows is like saying least favourite ice cream, or least favourite slice of pizza. It’s still better than the options we have 10 years ago. The story was true to the core of the Iron Fist story, without being slavish, there was fun moments, great action and it ended with somewhere to go. Was it perfect? No. But I still liked it as did my wife (the MIGHTY Rosie) who pointed out there were a lot of corridor fights.  Overall I enjoyed it.

 

We live in a geeky golden age, loving the hell out of that.

TTFN internet people.

 

 

Posted in Feelings on a Friday

Feelings on a Friday 29 – Resolve

Hey there internet people.

It’s been a struggle the last few weeks, not done as great as I would like in a number of areas, but I’m not going to complain today. That’s not what today is about.

After a bit of dry spell, I have done a number of posts this week on one of Munky on Merseyside’s sister blogs My Marvel Life. https://marvelmunky76.wordpress.com I’ve been enjoying the writing process again and knocking a few posts out has been a positive. Positive is where I want to stay.

So here are some positives and some resolutions.

Positive 1: I have allowed my trainer (Ali Fraser of Lewis Bailey Fitness) to use pictures of me to show my progress on social media. While this is no big thing for most people, it is a deal for me, I hate people seeing me, mainly because I so often hate what it is they see. This was a step forward in how I view myself..

Resolution 1: To put more into the training, try more things and work even harder, feel so good after my session yesterday and want more.

Positive 2: The pictures themselves are something to look at for me too. I keep hearing how I look different then even 3 months ago. Last night, I saw what I looked like 5 months ago to now. I see it now, it’s very different and for the first time, the FIRST time in a long while, I looked at the old pictures from a look how well I have done, rather than a look at the fucking state of that fat bastard at the old pics.

Resolution 2: Keep at the weight loss. I have found a meal I want to try tomorrow night for tea. Cooking from a receipe is not a skill I possess, but I’m eager for the challenge.

Positive 3: The weather is changing, warmer, brighter. This can only be considered a good thing.

Resolution 3: Do more outdoors stuff, get out into the world more, not for my boy, but for me.

Positive 4: My 6 year old nephew Leo is taking the 3 peak challenge (to climb Scaffel Pike, Snowdon and Ben Nevis before he is 7 in November) one is already done, local press have interviewed him, am proud of the little fella.

Resolution 4: Have put a sponsor form in work for him and there’s a link here for anyone else to have a peep at. https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/heather-carman-1?utm_term=52bvKNwQP

Positive 5: At my therapy session, was given two pieces of advice. i) Cut yourself some slack. ii) Try to look at the world with more a sense of wonder, as children do. Instead of looking at what you should do, just see more of a what can I do? What is possible?

Resolution 5: Wonder more.

As always I am here through the love and support of my son, the irrepressible Sam and the MIGHTY Rosie.

Ttfn internet people, go be positive.