Posted in Feelings on a Friday

Feelings on a Friday 27: Positivity is Exhausting

Hello there internet people.

Forgive my absence, beyond my usual weightloss posts. I have been neglecting this blog somewhat recently, unsure what to write about or say. I suppose I still not sure.

So here are some random ramblings.

Work is work, stressful and frustrating, but ultimately, things seem to be going well. My gym sessions are going full pelt as well. Started bench-pressing again after a gap of over 12  years. I’m even begun to enjoy my weekly therapy sessions. It’s amazing when you have people on your side. Speaking of people on my side, after an overnight stay at his grandmother’s my son came home last night, it’s weird when he’s away mid-week, missed him terribly. Last night he told me that I was the perfect dad. I had to fight that instinct to tell him he’s wrong, but I was too busy tearing up. The moments between him, me and the MIGHTY Rosie are the ones that make all the other things in my life make sense. It’s hard sometimes to articulate how much I love them. We need new words for it I think.

I’m trying to stay positive in the mornings, shit that’s hard. As exhausting as my daily battles within my head can be, the being positive thing is a little bit harder. But then again, I have always been a person who likes to make things harder for myself. So positive is what I am aiming for each day. Some days are harder than others.

This week has seen more time for me and the MIGHTY Rosie to spend together, which has helped us feel closer and close the distance we felt a few weeks ago, I am reminded daily of how lucky I am to have found and won her heart in this world. She remains the best part of me.

Also there’s been a lot of decent stuff to enjoy entertainment wise. I am still enjoying the shit out of DC’s Rebirth, with Superman, Action Comics and Wonder Woman nailing it week after week. I have watched the first 3 Sharknado films at the recommendation of a mate. I don’t know if I should thank him, or seek revenge. They are simultaneously great fun and so very terribly made films. You enjoy them, but don’t think too well of yourself for doing so. Went to see the Lego Batman film with said mate and enjoyed that tremendously. Whilst not a Batman fan as such, Will Arnett is always worth watching, even if it’s only voice over stuff, the cast is great and there’s loads of fun stuff in that film. TV wise we are clearing some of the recent TV we’ve been avoiding and had lots of fun doing that. Whilst Netflix’s Van Helsing has ended on a damp squib finale that anyone could see coming, Lucifer ended it’s run with panache. Have been catching up with season 2 of Dark Matter which has drew me in as well as it did the first time, but it’s bleak. The MIGHTY Rosie referred to it as a greek tragedy. But the new TV program of choice is the remake of the Richard Dean Anderson vehicle MacGuyver.

Yeah, that’s right, they remade MacGuyver

But it was something that I haven’t seen in a while, fun. Lucas Till (I know, I had to look him up too) takes the lead, with George Eads (from CSI) as Jack. Till has a degree of charm and Eads is having a ball playing Jack and it’s a really entertaining series that follows the same unarmed genius solving problems formula, but updates it a little. Really entertaining series that I’m going to keep up with.

So that’s it for now at least, positive ramblings over for now.

I am climbing this mountain, because I can. I have been shown I can believe in myself.

When we believe in ourselves, we are capable of so much more.

You have survived everything up till now. You are still here, despite your battles.

Your greatest victory is ahead of you.