Posted in Talking on a Terrible Tuesday

Talking on a Terrible Tuesday 5: Hope

Right wing loonies seem to be in power everywhere, the world is being pulled in different directions by the greedy, the self centred and the stupid. The news brings bad news every single day and more and more we think that we are looking at the worst this world has to offer being considered the norm.

If that is all you can see. That’s sad, because it’s very easy to fall into that deep pit of misery. Please don’t. Because I can see something that maybe overlooked by many people. The people themselves. When the recent US immigration muslim ban went into effect, the first thing I saw was outrage. Then people talking, people protesting and even lawyers, offering pro-bono aid for people affected.

When a visit from current US president, was announced, immediately the people signed a petition to have it called off, 1.27 million at last count. Our current Prime Irritant ignored those people. The last time a sitting PM underestimated a six figure group of people, we left the EU and he quit his job. In this world of instant reaction, trending and 24 hour news cycles, we expect that resistance gets rid of the bad guys in very quick order. It don’t work like that, it never did. Hitler was in power for 12 years if you recall. Here’s were we need to remember two things, patience and determination. If anyone tries to normalise the current xenophobic and short sighted rhetoric of hate, speak up for what you know to be right. We have to remember to treat each other well and do what we feel is the right thing to do. We are not the people speaking for us, we are not conservatives or liberals, right wing or left wing, tories or labour, blue or red, christian or muslim, european or middle eastern, we are just people. All of us and whether there is a deity looking out for all of us or whether there isn’t, we do need to realise that in our actions and in our words, it’s just us here. Every single act of kindness, unity or tolerance is a victory. Every victory is a small way our world gets better. Hate makes noises, hate gets attention and hate can kill. But we are more than hate, we are more than rhetoric, we are more than our labels. We are creatures of love just as much. Every religion is based on love of some description, even the non-theistic among us recognise the power of that love. Think of the last three emotions you expressed to people near you, how much of that was hate? How much of it was love?

Hate defines the limited, the frightened and the greedy. Love defines us all. I still see love in this world, compassion for others, kindness, friendship and that leaves me with hope.

We are not monsters, we are beings capable of great compassion, great understanding and great empathy. And there’s also this one thought, those who speak to our fear and our hate are often of an older guard, my hope isn’t that Trump and May will somehow become compassionate and competent leaders who will listen to the will of the people. That’s not hope, that’s denial, my hope is that we learn this lesson, we heed these warnings and we start picking better leaders, raising better children and ask them to fix this world that we have fucked up, but tell them we will help.

I don’t know what I wanted to say, but I wanted to be a positive voice, we don’t make much noise, so there needs to be more of us.

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Posted in Slimming World Saturday

Slimming World Saturday 2

My 4th weigh in, only a 2lb loss, somewhat disappointed, but it’s still a loss and am only 8lbs off my original goal of 10% of my body weight. Over all, things are better and my tee-shirts fit a little better.

In other news, the Mighty Rosie lost 3.5lbs after a week where she has struggled. I know where to improve and my march towards better health continues unabated.

Posted in Mental Health Struggles, Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous College Writing Part 2

I was given

They said she was wild, like lightning in a bottle..

Then I got 6 minutes…

Wild, a bird on fire.

They said she was wild, like lightning in a bottle, I can see why.

I’m watching her from the bar, this girl I was told about. I get a text from Barry, telling me her name is Gemma. I walk over to her, she isn’t dancing, but her body sways to the music. She hasn’t seen me, not that I am one to notice. My shoes squeak as I walk, unheard by anyone else, but deafening to me. The only sound louder is my heartbeat. Two more steps and my palms begin to sweat. I’ve come in here a couple of times this week now, if she sees me she’ll think I’ve been doing this to watch her. I have, but I don’t want her to know that. Two more steps and my mouth is dry. I’m beginning to panic. this is a panic attack. I’m having a panic attack! I stop, I take my phone out as if I received a message. My head slows, I#m under control, I probably over-reacted. I take a few more steps, she’s even more beautiful up close, she’s dancing now, furious and passionate. Sweat clings to her and her joy is obvious. I’m almost there.

I can’t do this, I run to the toilets, cold water on my face, almost throwing up. I step out. She’s still there, so beautiful and happy. On her shoulder I can see a tattoo of a bird on fire, that’s her in a nutshell. Me? I’m a guy trying to leave a bar without being seen.

I’ll try again tomorrow, 5th time’s the charm right?

Posted in Mental Health Struggles, Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous College Writing Part 1

I was given this line

Of course I believe in Father Christmas.

and then 6 minutes…

this is what I came up with.

 

“Of course I believe in Father Christmas.” He said adamantly. “Otherwise who delivers the presents the elves make?”

She was stunned by this reply. This was a full grown, working man, all suited and buttoned down, passionately affirming the existence of Santa. “You realise he isn’t real right?”
“And you know that for a fact do you? You can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt?”
“No, of course not. But every grown up knows that.”

“Yet every child knows that to be false, don’t they?”
She stared at him, before it was disbelief, this gave way to amusement, but know she was annoyed. “The toys were from your parents, you have to know that.”
“Some of them were, I’m not stupid! Only some of them were from Father Christmas. How else can you explain wealthier kids getting more toys?” She sat back further into her chair, exasperated.

This had been the weirdest first date she had ever been on.