Posted in Feelings on a Friday

Feelings on a Friday 16b: Validation

Hi ho internet people.

This has been a tough week, few late starts, few late nights, not the fun kind sadly. But I have a smile on my face today. Had a great weekend with the boy, (the Mighty Rosie was away at a company retreat) went out for lunch on saturday, bought him a basketball to go with his new basketball hoop in the back yard (which I recently started to weed again) and we spent a good hour or so, in the sun, playing hoops. The pride he felt when he got one in was palpable and when he got three more in, my heart swelled with pride so much it affected my centre of gravity. We watch Justice League: New Frontier before bed and it was a fun little day. (Why New Frontier? Apart from it’s general awesome-ness, it has super-heroes punching dinosaurs, now who can deny themselves that joy?)

The next morning we had breakfast and went to a  local comic mart, where I got loads of stuff, some of which he got to keep, before meeting up with my wife/his mum (the aforementioned Mighty Rosie) and had a nice chilled out sunday.

 

 

 

14390954_1784965338426283_823351759350034847_n

14344322_1784965371759613_2122286088151748412_n

 

14368890_1784965401759610_1589917779229812634_n

Bedtimes were less than wondrous, but this was a great weekend, then my boss was back in on monday and it all turned to shit. I realised that I do in fact like my job, because I had enjoyed the majority of the previous two weeks, but as soon as she came back, my job satisfaction took the week off.

But how do I maintain this positive attitude, is is the 3lb weight loss? Is it the great gym session last night? It is cuddled with my wife watching Commuinty with her? Or the knowldedge that I have to put up with work for only 4 more hours?

Yes, but also, have started a writing course with the local communuity college. Started last week, this week we were given a challenge, eight random pieces of information, lines, characters, obstacles and goals, then six minutes to write something, anything. I did it, because I love to write (hence these incoherent ramblings) so I completed the assignment, no surprise there. But I read it out.

Now for most that’s not a big thing, but with someone with depression, anxiety and a  good three decades lacking self esteem, this was a big thing. It went down well, it really did and I felt something so very strange, I was rewarded for my work, appraised and validated by almost strangers and a teacher. I was happy with it, it wasn’t perfect, but I wanted to share and that was a bigger moment for me than I first thought.

In 6 weeks time, I hit forty. Or maybe 40 hits me. But I had a new experience, a new way of thinking about what I am doing.

When I first started the course, the teacher pointed out, that by taking the course, I identified myself as a writer. This week, we learned of the danger of the single story, that single view of us, or of others.

I have never thought of myself as a writer, I minimise and play down this side of me, it is not the whole of me, but without it, no other view of me is the real thing either.

No one is one thing, no one is that label.

I am Keith (to most)

Munky (to a few)

Daddy (to one)

Husband (to another)

For every single story you see, there’s dozens you don’t and hundreds you can’t imagine.

I may post some of the stuff I write, or link to it (we’re being encouraged to use wattpad to share our work with one another)

That 6 minute story, I shared with the Mighty Rosie, she liked it.

We are more than one thing, we are more than one label.

We are unique and beautiful and magnificent, if we so choose to be.

 

Advertisements

Author:

Liverpool based family man and unrepentant geek, trying to understand what's going on in my own head, which is not always being a good place to be. Remember always, we live in a world of wonders.

3 thoughts on “Feelings on a Friday 16b: Validation

  1. Keith,

    This week, I’m the mum traveling…leaving my 3 kids with the man of the house. And your post made me smile. They are having those fun and special moments while I’m gone and reading about your weekend made my morning. I miss them, but I am happy they have the time together with him…to bond.
    And, yes…YOU ARE A WRITER! I loved this piece. And no, we are not defined by labels…we are a sum of our parts…but it is nice to identify and CLAIM, that yes, we are writers! I do hope you share your posts/assignments on here. Would love to read them!
    Happy Friday to you

  2. I love the joy we get from watching our children have fun, get balls in hoops, and just be kids. It brought me such great joy watching my daughter when she played in sprinklers and swung on rope swings with her friends.
    Anxiety is and can be so all consuming and so every moment not feeling it is a moment of victory. Sharing your work is awesome. Writing and sharing is scary and exciting and something to be very proud of. Especially in a writing class. That’s great. I love the focus your teacher posed for the week of not being just one story. I wrote something about that somewhere on my blog called the other parts of me. The anxiety and abuse is use one part. The parts that bring joy and love, the parts that are artistic and creative, are also huge parts of who make up me. I think it is fantastic you are a writer. what a a huge accomplishment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s