Posted in Feelings on a Friday

Feelings on a Friday 11: I refuse to hate

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Hate seems easy. Don’t believe me? Turn on your tv, read a paper, spend ten minutes on the internet, follow politics in any way. Hate is easy, so as a result, a lot of people do it.

Mass shootings over hate, death threats over disagreements. There are fandoms, supporters and other ‘factions’ of all kind of things fighting with one another. I’m tired of it all.

But here’s the thing, we learn hate. Fear is inherent, anger is reactive, love is instinctive, but hate is something we pick up. It divides us, it changes those we are different to, to the ‘enemy’. I think about these things and I ask, do I have an enemy? I have a line manager that I disagree with, but that’s more a clash of personality types and my own distrust of authority. Are immigrants my enemy? England is a flawed and often sh***y  country, if you want to come here, things aren’t going well where you were are they. Someone wants to make a life here, will work hard doing cr***y jobs for minimum wage and will be glad to do so, is that someone’s enemy? If you feel that someone who is fleeing poverty or war is a threat to you, that doesn’t say much about them. Is Europe my enemy? I don’t see how lots of countries working together hoping to make solutions to large problems and helping support one another is my enemy. Is Islam my enemy? No, nor is Budhism, Christianity, Judaism or anything else I don’t believe in that promotes the idea of being good to each other, which is something I do agree with. There are conflicts in this world, clashes between armies and groups and there are people to fear, but that’s not the same thing as enemies.

The news tells me to fear immigrants, muslims, people on benefits, political correctness, they push the idea that we should see them as other. I don’t agree, we are all one thing, people. I am often distrustful of people, cautious of people, but I don’t hate them. I don’t have time for hate, too busy looking at what else there is to do.

Next week is a referrendum on this countries membership in the European Union. I was unsure about my vote, what were the benefits, pros/cons, that sort of thing. Then I got a leaflet giving me the #leave side of things. There was the usual interference/sovereignty issues and the costs, but it was telling me that several new countries were joining. The idea that more countries coming together to help one another and have a greater political strength when dealing with the rest of the world was a bad thing. Do we hate foreigners so much, that we want to wall our selves off from them? Whether we like it or not, we are in Europe, being in the EU gives us more of a voice. We have more workers rights that we used to paternal leave is more. we have adoption leave, slightly higher minimum wage and other changes that were not gifts, they were fought for, by people all over the EU.


I am not going to tell anyone what to think, how to vote or what to feel, but I am going to vote based on what I think and not take my ball and go home based on disliking immigrants. By the way, it goes both ways, we can go there too. Nothing stopping you buggering off to Spain, or Holland to have a go at a better life. Nice to have that option isn’t it?


My point is, that decisions and judgements based on hate are very rarely the right ones.

Try something, go a day without that word. Try not to use it to express a feeling.

I hate this becomes I don’t like this, that sort of thing.

Hate seems easy, just as easy is compassion.

Hate isn’t a thing we feel, it’s a thing we do. It’s a bad habit, we should probably stop.

It’s a miracle how much lighter we feel, when we stop holding these grudges and carrying this anger.

Gotta go, Fridaying to be done.


Ttfn Internet people.

Thoughts are always welcome.


Liverpool based family man and unrepentant geek, trying to understand what's going on in my own head, which is not always being a good place to be. Remember always, we live in a world of wonders.

4 thoughts on “Feelings on a Friday 11: I refuse to hate

  1. I love this so much. Hate might be easy but anger takes so much more energy. It’s time we think for ourselves and choose to love one another instead of being brainwashed by the media, politics, etc. Fantastic post!!! Thank you for reeling us in and showing us that we can think and fell for ourselves.

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